


Neurosis

by Driwed



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Bangchan - Freeform, Chan, Fanfiction, Han - Freeform, Neurosis, Obsession, Obsessive Behavior, Stalking, driwed, hanjisung, jisung - Freeform, strayskids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-22 23:26:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 12,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17069210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Driwed/pseuds/Driwed
Summary: Bang chan is a famous tennis player and has millions of followers on social media. Jisung happens to be one of those fans, but his love for Bang chan may not be as pure as one thinks.





	1. Brief Words

**hi, it's driwed. this is my first ever stray kids only story! i hope you all like it and yes, i'm aware that jisung is in fact a minor and i will refrain from serious sexual things.**

**also, if you're wondering why it's called neurosis~**

**Neurosis: (in nontechnical use) excessive and irrational anxiety or obsession.**


	2. 1

"And he takes home yet another win!" The crowd roared as they rose to their feet. Chris, as they called him, had won yet another professional tournament. He waved to the crowd briefly before heading over to talk to his opponent. He extended his hand and they shook.

"You were great out there." "So were you, hotshot." Chris gave him a wink before walking over to his bags. He was soon approached by cameras and people seeking answers to their questions about what he'd do next after this win. "I'll do what I always do."

He picked up his bag then headed for the entrance to the court. "You did great Mr. Bang." "Just call me Chris like everyone else." "Well, you still have a few things left to do today." He nodded as he secretly wanted to just take a bath and take a long nap.

"These are for you, Mr. B-Chris." He took the bouquet then noticed a small card in it. He quietly read it then smiled. It was from a fan. It warmed his heart even more to know they took to heart what his favorites were.

Click, click, was the only sound heard as Chris had gotten into the car. The car drove away as they looked down at the photos they took. "Beautiful..." They ran their hand over the screen as they giggled to themselves.

[찬]  
I was finally able to relax after a long day of nothing but work. "Alexa, play my relaxation playlist." I sank deeper into my sheets as music started to play. I rolled onto my side as soft music filled my ears. I couldn't help but want to check my social media.

I smiled softly as I recognized that Twitter user. I knew nothing about them other than that they attend some of my events whether it's a tournament or simple autographing sessions. How could I tell? Through their photos and tweets obviously. I wish I knew their gender.

I tapped on their icon and decided to see what they had posted today. As I scrolled, I nearly dropped my phone in fright. I slowly picked up my phone then looked at the photos. No one was supposed to know where I was exiting from. No one but the assigned driver and staff.

They had been posted two hours ago and had many replies, likes and retweets. This person was starting to make me uneasy. I refreshed their page then furiously scrolled up and down. The pictures were gone. Was I seeing things?

I tossed my phone to the side and covered my head with my pillow. I was probably just tired from working hard today. I tried to forget the images as the music continued to play.

[지]  
I squealed in delight as I taped the newest photo onto my already cluttered wall. Everything about him was perfect. From the waves in his hair to the sharpness of his canine teeth. I added another tally to my board for his number of trophies won.

I opened my drawer then took everything out to set up the makeshift shrine. After a while I clapped twice then blew the candles out. "I love you so much..." I held the picture frame as I ran my hands over it. I wanted to touch him. I wanted to know what every inch of his body felt like.

I stood up then placed the frame to the side as I went back on my computer to check Twitter. I was disappointed to see he hadn't updated us on what he suggested we eat for dinner. I sighed heavily as I had to eat yesterday's meal. I chewed on my index finger as I scrolled through my timeline.

Time had passed and I felt satisfied enough to sleep well tonight. "Oh." I was too busy looking at Chris to notice the blood dripping from my finger. I walked out my room to the bathroom and saw my mother walking into the living room downstairs. She didn't even notice my presence.

I walked out with a now bandaged finger and decided to see if she was feeling agreeable. She was splayed out on the couch watching TV and drinking what seemed to be her seventh can of beer. "What? Is it money? Go take it from your father. Leave me alone."

She had already shooed me away before I could say a word. "That wasn't exactly what I wanted." She had paused the show. I immediately ran upstairs and locked myself in my room. "Jisung, come out. Mommy wants to talk to you." "I'm fine. Leave me alone."

I held my pillow close as she had finally left. "I'll be okay. She'll forget... right Chris?" I looked up at the cluttered wall as he smiled down at me. "As long as I have you, nothing bothers me..." I leaned against the wall as I laughed and cried.


	3. 2

[찬]  
I woke up and checked the time. It was pretty early in the morning, so I decided to start my morning routine a bit earlier than usual. I didn't have much to do today other than practice, so allowing myself a bit of free time before then wouldn't hurt.

I wiped my face with my towel as I stood in place to catch my breath. I rolled my arms and neck before making my way back home. Something about today's jog made me feel uneasy. I quickened my pace then briefly looked back. I then ran into something or someone.

"Oh, are you okay?" I held my hand out to him which he took. "Yeah..." I looked next to him and saw that he had a camera with him. "Youre into photography?" He nodded. "You can let my hand go..." "Oh, I'm sorry." He quickly let go then shied away from me. "I'm sorry..."

"Dude, it's okay. You aren't hurt, right?" He shook his head frantically. He seemed pretty timid. "What's your name?" "Han Jisung..." I smiled softly as I stepped closer to sign his shirt. It was the least I could do. "Wow, thanks. I'm a big fan." "Really?"

He pulled out a few tickets from different events. "Wow. I'll make sure to keep an eye out for you next time then." "You don't have to. Just forget you ever met me." "W-" He quickly ran away. I sighed then noticed he dropped a photo. Did he purposefully leave it?

It was a photo of me at one of my autograph sessions. I also signed it. "I've met him before...?" It was hard to keep track of everyone I've met as I had a lot of fans. I picked it up and continued on my way home wondering if him dropping the photo was intended or not.

[3rd]  
Jisung quietly watched from afar as Chris made his usual left turn to head back home. He was feeling a bit brave today and decided to follow him home. It wasn't his first time going there anyway. He followed Chris as he wondered what he thought of when he saw the photo.

He took a few photos as Bang chan entered his home. It was now or never. He dashed to the door and made it just before the door closed. He was in. He waited a while before entering as he didn't want to ruin his chances. He looked around behind before entering.

Chris poured himself a cup of water as he walked to his living room to do some light reading to stimulate his mind. He paused by the table as the book he had just placed on there was now missing. He looked around and confirmed it was no longer in the area.

He gave up and decided to read another book while he still had time. Jisung on the other hand was hard at work. He could hardly contain his excitement as he touched everything, even Chris's dirty laundry. He took a few shirts from his drawer and a watch as well.

He ducked into his closet as he heard footsteps approaching the room. He watched in glee as Chris did normal things that a human would. He wanted to touch him badly. "Ah, where's the watch...? Whatever." He pulled out his phone and recorded Chris changing.

He soon left the closet when he heard the door close. "I'm going to treasure this..." He smiled widely as he poked his head out, making sure no one was around. He decided to sneak out a window as it would be less suspicious.

[찬]  
"I'm telling you, they're gone!" "And I'm telling you that you want me to believe that they magically disappeared." I frowned as the driver parked the car. "We're here so, let's get a move on." I reluctantly got out of the car as I wanted someone to believe me.

"Again!" I was breathing heavily as I returned as many serves as I could down the line. "You good Chan?" "Yes!" I hated that even when I'm at the brink of collapsing, I keep pushing myself. I could never understand why I did that. What was I afraid of?

I lost my concentration and took a ball to my thigh. "Chan!" "I'm fine! Don't come." It hurt like hell. "Let's take a break." "I can-" He was already taking a seat and drinking water. I slightly limped over then sat down. "What's wrong kid?" "First of all, I'm 21. Not a kid."

"I'm somewhat close to double your age. So you're basically a kid to me." I rolled my eyes as I smacked on grapes. "So, what's on your mind? Finally saw a girl who you couldn't keep your eyes off of?" I shook my head as I ate another grape. "I recently met a fan..."

"Male? Female?" "Male. Actually, I'll be honest. I met him today. He looked so scared and so timid. Fragile one could say..." "Where did you meet him?" "On my usual jogging route. And he left a photo. I just can't wrap my head around it." "Go on."

"Did he purposefully drop it or not?" "I'm sure it was an accident. If you could at least remember his name and face, we can get it back to him. We meaning those who take care of you." I frowned heavily. "Ah, I crossed the line again..." "It's okay. Let's get back to practice."


	4. 3

I slammed my racquet down in frustration. "Chris, calm down." "Easy for you to say!" I shook my head as I picked up my now bent racquet. "I'll get you a new one. Stay here." I sat down then sighed. Nothing was going right. Was it my racquet face? My follow through?

I couldn't seem to find the answer. My hairs stood on end as I heard giggling coming from afar. "Is someone there...?" I walked around and heard it louder in the opposite direction. I couldn't see past the bush then stumbled back when something hit the fence in front of me.

My body was a shaking mess as the giggling grew fainter then completely stopped. "I-Chris, why are you on the ground?" I picked myself up and ran to him with a few tears. "Something was here. I don't know who or what but something was. I heard giggling..."

"You've been reading too many supernatural books. Lay off them for a while." He handed me the racquet and walked to the other side. I briefly looked back towards the fence then swallowed hard. I know something was there. Something had to be.

[지]  
I held my camera close as I skipped home. I was certain they'd pay well for these. I unlocked the door then briefly gagged. They left the trash by the door. I quickly took it to the basement then hurried back upstairs. "The runt's home!" I hated that name.

"Son." "Father." He patted my head then sent me upstairs without another word. Due to my mother's alcoholism and violent nature because of it, my father had to have most of his brain removed to keep him alive and functioning after they fought once. He happened to lose most of his speech ability.

I sat down on my bed then greeted the many Chris's that were pasted on my wall. I logged onto Twitter then salivated. Chris looked good in anything he wore. I looked down and saw I had a massive amount of direct messages. It's surprising what some people would do for things.

I had finally gotten through all of them then checked Chris's Twitter to see if he tweeted. I refreshed after a while and saw a new tweet. I went through my bag and put one of the shirts I had taken then took a picture.

       

He didn't suspect anything. Then again who would? We've seen him wear it and no one could prove it was his unless they brought it in to get tested. Plus, knock offs these days were looking more and more like the real thing. I wiggled in happiness at my first haul and probably my last haul.

I found myself planning two weeks ahead with what I was going to do. I noticed I received another direct message. "Can they leave me alone... What else could they possibly not understand." I sucked in air and held it. Chris had messaged me. The one and only. I quickly checked it.

 **(Pretend this is twitter dms.** 😂 **)**

I felt special. He wanted to meet me, but little did he know we already have multiple times. I sighed happily as I felt we were meant to be. I stared at my wall lovingly as numerous Chris photos lined it. "Chris and I were meant to fall in love~"

I happily sang it over and over as I continued to stare at the wall.

ㄸㄸㄸㄸ

"You waste of sperm, get your sorry ass up and get to school." She was harsh and not bright at all. The weekend had just started. What did I expect from a parent who prioritizes drinking herself drunk? I wouldn't be around anyway as Chris had a session today.

I waited by the entrance with others as we waited for the doors to open. Only a few fans got to attend and I made quite a deal with someone who had gotten in. I smiled softly as I looked at photos I had of Chris on my phone.

 _"Mine, mine, all mine."_  I couldn't stop thinking about his smiling face, his soft features, the way his hair moved when he did. I snapped out of my daydream and saw others starting to flood in. I squeezed in, hoping to get a good seat.

I sat down then looked around. I felt anxious and put my hood up. It calmed me slightly, but not enough. I started to chew on my index finger as I waited for it to start. My nerves had went down as I checked the time then went on Twitter.

I took pictures as he smiled widely while talking to the others through the mic in his hand. I loved him so much. I wished he was mine so badly. What could I do to make him want me just as bad as I want him? I had come back to reality as someone had tapped me.

"Your finger..." I looked at them confused until I looked down at it. It was bleeding a lot. "Oh..." I quickly stood up and knocked my chair over, causing people to look at me. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." I repeatedly apologized to everyone as I rushed out the room.

"Hey, wait!" I stopped. He stopped in front of me then took my hand with my bleeding finger. "Come, I can get you proper care." It was Chris. He was holding my hand. Happiness had spread across my face. I restrained myself from touching him the best I could. "What's your name?" "Huh?" "Name." "Oh...Jisung..." "Well, Jisung, be more careful, okay?" I quietly nodded.


	5. 4

"Hey, can you lift your head?" I shook my head then lowered my head further. "Please?" I slowly raised my head then met his gaze. "Hey, aren't you that fan I met yesterday?" I looked at him quietly, afraid to say anything that could ruin me. "Are you okay...?" I nodded.

They bandaged up my finger and sent me on my way. "I'm sorry for taking up your time." I apologized profusely then felt him put a hand on my shoulder. "You apologize too much. You did nothing wrong. Let's get back to the room." I touched his face out of compulsion.

"Jisung..." "Shh..." I was touching him. I couldn't control myself. Soon both my hands were cupping his face and squishing his cheeks. I felt my hands move from his face then be placed at my side. "You shouldn't do that... I'll go on ahead." I watched Chris quickly walk down the hall.

[찬]  
He was weird. How could he just touch a strager's face let alone a famous one at that? I soon felt something hugging me from behind. "Jisung, let go of me!" I pried him off then walked away faster. There was something off about him, very off.

I sat back down then watched as Jisung slowly entered the room and took his seat. "Sorry about that everyone. I couldn't just sit by and not do anything." They all started complimenting me for my caring and big heart. I was used to it by this point.

[3rd]  
Chris sat in the car as his head constantly slid out of the palm of his hand. He was dead tired. "Chris, wake up." His eyes fluttered open and he looked around. "You're home. Rest well tonight. You have a few practice matches tomorrow."

He nodded as he got out of the car. He opened the door and walked inside. He flopped onto his bed and was thankful for the tiredness that engulfed his body once he touched his bed.

Jisung peeked his head into his room and confirmed that was Chris was immobile as of that moment.  _"I really hugged you...You're so soft..."_  He sighed softly as he took photos of Chris sleeping. He quietly closed the door then spotted Chris's keys.

He took the ones that belonged to the house then decided to do one at a time as too many missing would seem suspicious. Jisung planned to make a copy of them so it'd be easier to get in and out. He knew all of Chris's schedules like the back of his hand.

Jisung quickly ducked into another room as the door to Chris's room had opened. He peeked out and watched him silently. "What was with that guy...touching me all over like that..." Jisung frowned as Chris complained to himself about his actions earlier.

Chris sighed heavily as he drank water. Things were becoming weird as of late. His vision soon disappeared, causing him to panic. "Is someone there...?" "Of course..." A shiver went down his spine. He didn't recognize the voice at all. "Are you going to kill me?" "No."

He sighed quietly knowing he'd get to live another day. "Do you want money or something valuable?" "No." He was confused. Then what was the point of this? "Then what do you want?" "You." "Me? Why me?" The person never replied. "Are you still there?" No response.

"Please, don't leave me like this..." He didn't know what was blocking his vision and he wasn't too intent on finding out either. Chris soon regained his vision and looked around for who the hell was in his place. He noticed a partially burnt photo was left on the island.

It was a picture of him and one of his close female friends. He picked it up and felt uneasy as only her side was burnt off. There was no signature or anything on it. He hurried to his room and called whoever appeared first in his mind. He no longer felt safe.

Jisung burned photos that he took of them in the bathtub. No one was allowed to be close to his Chris. No one besides his parents. "Son." "Father." He opened the door and saw his father looking at him worriedly. "I'm okay. Go rest. Avoid mom." His father patted his head before leaving.

[찬]  
I wiped my face with a towel as we took a brief break. "Can't believe I'm losing." "I'll finally win after all these matchups." We playfully shoved each other until my gloomy mood had returned. "What's going on?" "I... I'm no longer safe at home..."

"What happened? Did you get robbed?" "Well yes, in a way, but there was something weird." "Go on." "Well, they didn't want to kill me nor any money or valuables. Just me." He looked completely lost in thought. "I don't know, but you can stay over at my place."

My phone buzzed and I reached over to check it. The huge fanboy fansite posted again. I unlocked my phone then went on Twitter. I dropped my water bottle in surprise. "This can't be..." "What is it?" Whoever this fansite seems to know all about know me."

"They posted a picture of me and that fan I helped weeks ago when he chewed on his finger until it bled. It was nasty..." "It's such a clear picture too..." I shivered at the thought that popped into my mind. "What did you just think about?" "Let's get back to the match."

I didn't want to worry him further. What was obvious now was that I was being followed. Would being stalked be the correct term in this sense? "Watch out!" "Huh?" I took a direct hit to the face from a tennis ball. I fell onto my behind then rubbed my face.

"Shit, why didn't you say you weren't ready? Now your nose is bleeding..." He helped me up then sat me down. "I don't have any tissue. I'll go get some. Keep your head tilted back." I gave him an okay sign as I tilted my head back.


	6. 5

I sat in silence as the only sound heard was the rustling of leaves in the wind. I closed my eyes then heard faint giggling. I quickly opened my eyes then looked around. I should've gone with him. It grew louder then stopped. Then I started to hear singing.

It was a sweet and soft melody and had pushed me to the border between consciousness and the dream world. It stopped singing and the rustling leaves had replaced it. I needed to know who held such a voice. I left the courts and headed for the entrance.

I looked around where I had sat from the outside.  _"Ah, shit..."_  My nose kept bleeding and I started to feel lightheaded. I sat down and tilted my head back in hopes of no longer feeling lightheaded. "Chris..." I looked around and wondered who was calling my name.

The soft voice rang in my ears again, causing me to close my eyes for a better listen. The voice was so close. I felt something touch my face then something being put in my nostrils. "Who's there?" "Your angel." They had sung it, making their actual voice undetectable.

I opened my eyes then panicked when it was still dark. "Let me see who you are!" "No." I felt cool hands snaking up underneath my shirt and I quickly pulled away. "What are you doing?" "Stay still..." I curled into myself in hopes of deterring them. "Chris!"

I soon heard retreating footsteps then regained sight. "Chris! Where are you?" I managed to squeak out a weak here. "Why did leave? And when did you get tissue...?" I touched my nose then shook my head. Should I tell him? What if he made fun of me for being such an easy target?

I walked back towards the building and made a call. I needed protection. These harassments were becoming too frequent. I couldn't rest easily at night anymore, in fear that someone would kidnap me.

[지]  
I squealed happily as I watched Chris walk into the building. I had touched him. I touched his bare skin. It was so smooth, so soft. He had abs. I had a taste of the forbidden fruit and now I wanted more. I decided to hang around a bit longer to take a few more photos.

I quietly watched as he rallied back and forth with his opponent. I wondered what he was thinking about. I was sure after the sweet moment between us that he'd seek better protection, but that wouldn't deter me in the slightest. I was determined to make him want me.

[3rd]  
They decided to call it a day and Chris had looked briefly towards the fence. "Jisung...?" Where he practiced was no secret due to a leak and they were still in the process of finding a new place. He didn't really mind the leak.

He appreciated fans coming to see how hard he worked. He jogged over to Jisung then gave him a half hearted smile. He hadn't forgotten what Jisung had done weeks ago back at the Q&A session. "Hey." He found it odd that Jisung never talked much around him. Jisung simply waved shyly.

"Did something happen...?" "Huh?" Jisung pointed to the half melted ice pack and tissue on the bench. "Oh, it's nothing." "Your nose..." Chan briefly panicked then calmed down when Jisung only mentioned it looked red. "It gets red sometimes randomly. Human bodies are weird."

"Yeah..." Chan wasn't sure what to talk about with him. He shouldn't be getting close to fans in the first place. "I'm gonna go..." "Wait." He tilted his head as he waited for Jisung to speak. "What's your favorite love song...?" "Do you have a pen?"

He wrote it down so that Jisung knew the correct spelling. "Enjoy." He walked over to his bag then wondered why Jisung was so quiet. Was there something going on at home? Or was it just his personality? He zipped up his bag then noticed he had left. Jisung was really a strange person.

[지]  
I arrived home then ducked out of the reach of my mother. "No hug?" "Last time you hugged me, you tried to suffocate me." My father had poked his head out then motioned for me to come upstairs. "Go back to drinking since that's all you care about." "You little shit."

He sat on the bed then patted the spot next to him. "A house..." I lowered my tone while looking at him seriously. "Are we moving? With or without..." "Without." It was a pretty bold move for my father as he was practically my mother's rag doll. "When...?"

"Soon. Secretly pack." I nodded then hesitated. "What?" I gave him a brief hug before quickly leaving. I pitied my father terribly, but I don't think anyone could've predicted my mother's downward spiral. I locked my bedroom door then started to pack. Only death could stop us from leaving.

ㄸㄸㄸㄸ

I moved my finger towards my mouth then stopped. It was already mangled from the previous times. I opted to chewing on licorice and planned to condition myself into it. I scrolled through Twitter, liking and retweeting anything that remotely related to Chris.

I checked his account then frowned. He had posted a picture of that girl again. I quickly typed a response that appeared nice on the surface, but contained hate within. Only intellectuals could understand me. I laughed hard as replies in agreement poured in. Idiots.


	7. 6

[찬]  
I furrowed my brows. Why was such a shady reply getting so much attention? I had thought the fanboy was nice until this tweet. "What's wrong?" "This fansite that I love just replied so nastily and people are liking it, literally." He sat next to me then read it.

"Yikes. Can't you report it?" "That's the thing, not everyone would understand this." I sighed heavily then heard the doorbell. "I'll get it." He eventually came back and requested my presence. "Hello Chris. Are you feeling better here?" I nodded as I briefly hugged Jeonhoon, the friend who offered his home.

"That's good. I just wanted to introduce you to the people we've hired that will follow just about everywhere until you return back here. They will stay here only if Jeonhoon isn't present." I nodded as I shook their hands. "Thank you so much..."

"Alright, let's hit the hay." I did feel more at ease with someone else around. I worried if someone was currently robbing me. So many worries circled around, causing me to stop and try to breathe. "You coming?" "You turn in first. I'll be on the balcony."

I leaned against the railing then sighed heavily. I knew life wouldn't be easy once I became famous. One always thinks it'll never happen to them, and then it does. I started to feel better as I thought deeply on it. My mind then wandered to Jisung.

A part of me wanted to know more about him, but my common sense was saying that I shouldn't get deeply involved with fans as people would talk. I took out my phone and checked Twitter. Did Jisung have Twitter? Or any form of social media? I shook my head and decided not to ask.

"Chris, come on, its late." "I said you can go ahead and sleep." "I can't rest knowing you're still awake and not in my sight. Especially with what's going on around you..." I sighed then closed the balcony door behind me then locked it. "I'm coming..."

ㄸㄸㄸㄸ

I stretched out then felt my hand hit something. I looked over and saw I had hit Jeonhoon's face. I silently apologized then came to my senses. "Jeonhoon!" He shot up and looked around in a panic. "What? Is someone here?" "No...Why are you in here with me...?"

"Oh, so I am...Sorry." I kept him from leaving the bed. "Is there something you're not telling me?" "Not at all. I'm used to sleeping in here, that's all." I eyed him up and down before letting him go. "Wanna go out for breakfast?" "Yeah, sure."

I looked through my bag to see what I felt like wearing on my single free day this week. I settled for something lazy-casual then looked around for Jeonhoon. "Jeon!" "Down here." I walked downstairs then heard him walking towards me. "Here. Red will be your designated color."

"Oh, thanks." "Go shower." "You're not going to walk in on me, right?" "Look at this guy, acting all bashful. As if we don't have the same body parts." "There's still such thing as privacy." "Whatever, I'll knock first." "Thank you."

[지]  
I quietly ate and avoided looking at my parents. "Jisung." "Yes mom." "Go get me some water." I took the cup from her hand then walked to the kitchen. "If you bring back tap water, I'll kill you." I rolled my eyes as I opened the fridge. "Make sure it's more than half."

I handed her the cup then sat back down. "Good boy." "Don't touch me..." I winced as she hit me on the back of my head. I couldn't wait to leave her behind. I looked at my food and immediately lost my appetite. "I'm excusing myself." "You're going to sit and finish this."

"No." "Fine. Then I guess you won't be hungry later." I frowned as she threw the food and the plate into the trash. "You're not going out today. Stay home." I quietly walked upstairs then threw on an outfit. I was going to go out whether she liked it or not.

ㄸㄸㄸㄸ

I sat underneath a tree in the park that Chris usually goes through during his morning jog. I put in earbuds then selected the playlist full of songs Chris had recommended over time. I tapped shuffle and was surprised to hear the first was his favorite love song.

I was soon lost in my own world as I leaned back and stared up at the leaves. I found my eyelids growing heavy and they soon closed. My entire body felt heavy as I fell onto my side. "Hey, you're not supposed to let go!" The loud person was was disturbing me terribly.

"You okay...?" I opened my eyes slightly then immediately sat up. "Chris..." "Oh, Jisung." I smiled widely as I took out my earbuds. "Your song!" I put them in his ears then received a small smile from him. "Do you like it, Jisung?" "Yes!"

He looked at me so softly. I reached to touch his face then pulled my hand back. "I'm sorry..." My body shook as a voice inside me said that it was okay to touch him, that I had every right to touch him. I knew better yet...


	8. 7

"Jisung, let go!" "Please... just a bit longer..." I felt tears continue to pour out of my eyes. "Fine..." I pulled away after a while then put on my hood. "I'm sorry..." I repeatedly apologize then quickly left. My heart couldn't take it. I didn't want to do something I'd regret.

[찬]  
"He left his phone..." I felt pain on the back of my head. "I told you not to separate from me, you idiot." "But the bodyguards are here..." "So? Stay with me." I put his phone in my pocket as Jeonhoon dragged me away. I started to wonder why Jisung cried.

ㄸㄸㄸㄸ

"Hey!" "Huh?" He frowned then put his controller down. "You're thinking hard on something." "I'm not." "You always space out when you think hard. It's so bad that you don't even notice your surroundings." "Is it really that bad...?"

"Yes. You almost got hit by a car." I gave him a look full of horror. "Yeah, now talk to me." "No, it's fine. You wouldn't know anything." "That's rude." "Then what can you tell me about Jisung?" "Jisung? Is that the name of the person who hugged you...?" "Yeah."

"I don't even know who he is." "Exactly." I put the controller down then headed upstairs. Jeonhoon was obviously of no use in this area. I then remembered that I had his phone. I knew it wasn't right to snoop, but I couldn't help myself. "Oh, that's me."

He had a picture of me holding a trophy as his lock screen. I felt bad then put the phone down. I couldn't bring myself to look through his private things. I jumped as the phone started to ring. "Hello? Oh, Jisung. Yes, I have it. I can't exactly leave. I can give it to you tomorrow."

"I'll be at the center tomorrow." I sighed as I should've given him a place to wait for me like a room or an area outside. I heard the door open and saw Jeonhoon poke his head inside. "Hey..." "Hm?" "I'm sorry for being useless..." "You're not. You have your own life."

"Oh, aren't you meeting Hanseul tomorrow?" "You're right..." I had forgotten. "I did mention a time right?" "About 10 I think." "Ah..." I sighed as Jisung said he'd be around at that time. He said had something important to do before meeting me.

[3rd]  
"Chris~!" She hugged him tight then let go. "Did you bring your racquet?" "Yep!" "Do you mind waiting on the court for me?" "Chris!" Jisung slowed to a stop as he saw Chris with Hanseul. "Chris, who is this?" Jisung watched the two of them interact with envy.

"I'll see you on the court." She left the area and they were soon alone. Chris walked over to Jisung then felt himself falling back onto the floor. "You're with her again? What's so good about her huh?" "Jisung, get off of me!"

Chris put his hands behind his head for protection as Jisung started to shake him violently. "Chris!" "Hanseul-" "Get off of him you psycho!" Soon a tussle occurred between Hanseul and Jisung while Chris tried to separate them. "You-"

She threw him to the floor and rendering him immobile. "Wait, Hanseul-" "Where are your bodyguards? You! Throw him out!" She let them take Jisung away. "Chris, how could you just expect me let him do that to you? Charge him with assault! Have him locked up!"

Chris bit his bottom lip as Hanseul had made a point. He couldn't help but think that Jisung didn't actually mean what he did. He couldn't help but see the good in people. "I won't this time. Maybe next time, if there is one..." "You're too nice, Chris..."

"I don't think he intended to hurt me...It just happened..." She patted his head then sighed. "Let's play a bit and get your mind off of it." "If you think it'll help." She linked her arm with his and dragged him off to the courts.

[지]  
I sat on the ground burning with anger and jealousy. What was she to him? Was he secretly dating her behind our backs? I watched from afar as they rallied together. My grip on the fence tightened the longer I stared at her. She needed to leave the picture. Permanently.

I went to take out my phone then realized I never got it back. I couldn't go anywhere near the center as it was being patrolled. There was nothing I could do. I sighed heavily then looked at my hands. I didn't notice the pain until now. I decided to head home.

I opened the door to the house. It was quiet until I heard a woman's voice. It wasn't one I was familiar with. "Dad..." I walked to the living room and saw my dad talking to a woman. "Is she your girlfriend?" "Your aunt." She waved at me while smiling. "Explain."

"Your father asked me to stop by every so often." "Why?" They looked at each other then back at me. "We can't tell you yet... Your father means well, it's just so you can get used to me." "Used to you? Are we going to be living with her?" "Sort of..."

There was something they obviously weren't telling me. "Fine, don't tell me." "Ah, one more thing." "What?" "We decided to enroll you back in school..." I looked at them in shock. "School...?" "We think you're ready to tackle it again..." "No!" I ran to my room.


	9. 8

[3rd]  
"Do you think we did the right thing?" "He needs friends..." "But last time..." Mr. Han sighed as he held his head low. He needed Jisung to make friends so that his eminent death wouldn't be as hard on him. He needed his son to try. "I'll try to talk to him..." "Leave him."

ㄸㄸㄸㄸ

"I'll see you next time, Chris! And don't forget to give me an answer." Chris waved as Hanseul left in a different car. "This is very last minute, but are you interested in attending your high school reunion?" "Tomorrow?" "Yes." He thought about it. "Why not?" "I will RSVP then."

[찬]  
"Jeon, I'm back." He slightly panicked as the lights turned off. "Jeon...?" He frowned as Careless Whispers started to play on the living room stereo. "Jeon, this isn't funny. I'm turning on the lights." My wrist was seized and I was whisked into the living room.

"What is go-" "Shh." I couldn't understand what was going on in his mind. He spun me around then continued to slow dance with me. "Jeon." He hummed in response while keeping his gaze with my own. "What's all this?" "Glad you asked."

"I'm sure you had a stressful day, so I decided that we should dance your worries away." I nodded, but doubted him. I couldn't help but feel he's hiding something. He suddenly dipped me then waggled his eyebrows. "Pretty smooth right?" "Very..."

The song had long since ended, yet I could still hear it playing in the back of my head. "You..." I gave him an innocent look in hopes of trying to prove my hunch. "It's late and y-you're probably tired." He lifted me up then sped walked away. "Guess I was wrong..."

I logged into Twitter and decided to see what my followers were up to.

It was chanstan again. I hoped to get more information from him tonight and hopefully learn his name. I rested my hand on my thigh then felt something hard. "Jisung..." I had failed to give him back his phone. He hasn't called either. I sighed then waited for chanstan to reply.

**(credit to @/straykids971003 for the fanart)**

       

He left me on seen. I didn't ask anything inappropriate, did I? I simply wanted to know him better. I smiled happily as he started to type. I scowled at his reply. "'I'm closer than you think.' Does he mean...?" I looked towards the direction Jeonhoon went in. "It can't be..."

[3rd]  
Mr. Han knocked on Jisung's door before entering. "Today's your first day..." "Please don't make me go..." Mr. Han could see his son shaking, but he couldn't let this go. "Do you want me to go with you?" "Yes..." "But you know I can't stay." Mr. Han sighed sadly.

"Your aunt will probably be here before I get back, so spend time with her." "Okay..." Mr. Han held Jisung close before ushering him into the car. Jisung nervously shook his leg as he bit down on his hand. He imagined everything that could go wrong and scared himself shitless.

"We're here." Jisung shrunk back at the sight of the building. "Come on, let's go meet your principal." Jisung slowly unbuckled himself then got out of the car. His anxiety had rose to an all time high.

"Nice to meet you both. Please, have a seat." They sat down as Ms. Im looked over papers. "So he's been in and out of school..." "Just once." She nodded then looked up at them. "Other than that, you'd be a perfect fit at our school." Jisung weakly cheered.

He found himself alone in the halls holding his schedule with his shaky hands. "Hey! You're the new student." He backed up as someone started walking towards him. "I'm not gonna hurt you. Here." The person stopped moving and simply held out their hand.

[찬]  
Thirty six. Thirty seven. My breathing was starting to become haggard as I came close to finishing my daily sit ups. "Fifty." I sat up then was helped up by Wanjung. "You're getting better everyday." "Am I?" He laughed then handed me my water bottle.

"I remember when you could barely finish one set of three." I looked away in embarrassment as I hydrated myself. "You're doing great kid. Speaking of kids, how's Hanseul? You two a thing yet?" I choked on my water at his question. "You asked what now?"

"Well, everyone sees how close you are, and she isn't exactly subtle." I shook my head then exhaled. "We won't ever be." "And why is that?" There were quite a few reasons. "She's just not my type." "Oooh? So, what is your type?" "Hm..."

We left the courts and he continued to bug me about my type. I had an idea, but was it really okay to tell my coach? He didn't need to know everything. "Well, as long as you promise not to say or do anything." "Promise." We linked pinkies as we waited for my ride in the lobby.

"Hm, blonde hair like mine, innocent doe-ish eyes, timid, not too talkative, same music taste would be nice, squishable cheeks..." I continued to list a few more then stopped to look at my coach. "Sounds like you have someone in mind already." "Nah." "You do."

Did I really? No one came to mind when I thought about it. "There's no one. I can't think of anyone like that." "Ah, your ride's here. go rest up for tomorrow's tournament." I nodded then waved goodbye. I couldn't have described someone. I didn't know anyone like that.


	10. 9

[지]  
I sketched a picture of Chan as I sat in class. I already knew what was being taught and saw no use in relearning it. "Psst." I looked around then saw my seatmate sliding me a note. I took it, unfolded it and began to read.

It asked if I was a fan of Chris. I looked at him as he pointed to my sketch. I quickly put it away then put the paper in my pocket. It was starting again. The bell rung and I quickly left the classroom. I ducked into the restroom then locked the door.

I sat on the floor with my head on my knees. It was going to happen again. Tears fell out of my eyes as I felt bad for my father for having such a fucked up child. "Hey, did I offend you?" "Go away." "Not until you come out with a smile on your face."

ㄸㄸㄸㄸ

"So you are. Well, I am too!" A small smile formed on my lips as he took me to my next class. "By the way, the name's Do Geutan. Yours?" "Jisung...Han Jisung." "Lets be friends, if that's okay with you." I nodded wordlessly as he carried on about Chris.

The rest of the day went by nicely thanks to Geutan. "Hey, you should come hang out with me and my friends. We're getting froyo." I shook my head. "I don't get allowance." "That's fine, I can pay for you." "It's fine...I'll get going. See you next week." "Jisung..."

[찬]  
I touched the power button on Jisung's phone in a rhythmic manner as my face appeared then disappeared in a cycle. I had no idea where Jisung was. I didn't want to risk exposing him nor the fact that we've met in private. "Why so serious Chris?" "No reason."

He crawled over to me then poked my forehead. "You've been quiet lately. Is it because you don't have your freedom?" "No." It was a risky move, but I had to get him back his phone. I decided to leave him a little gift as I opened up his camera.

[3rd]  
Jisung paced around as he waited for Chris to appear. "Are you chanstan on Twitter...?" He nodded as he kept his hood on and head low. "Well, I shouldn't be doing this..." He pushed Jisung into the room then stood by the door. "So, what's the confession?"

Jisung stepped closer to Chris with desire. His common sense had long since left him. He wordlessly placed his hands on Chris's arms then forced him to the floor. "What are-" "Shh...or you'll get hurt." Jisung gently stroked Chris's cheek then ran his finger over his lips.

Chris watched as Jisung leaned forward to the point that their noses touched. "You're so beautiful..." Jisung closed the gap between them and expected Chris to fight back. He smiled as Chris had given up after a while. He pulled away then seductively licked his lips.

Chris took the opportunity as he reached to push them off of him. A tussle ensued and soon he had the person pinned down. He removed the hood then gasped. "Jisung...?"

"You're chanstan...?" Jisung remained quiet as he stared up at Chris. "Jisung, say something..." "My phone..." Chris pulled it out with his free hand then placed it in Jisung's pocket. "I am." "So..." He looked Jisung over then frowned.

"You..." Jisung gave him a confused look as Chris looked down at him in horror. "What...? Aren't you going to have me arrested for assaulting you?" Chris couldn't believe it. He had described someone. He had described Jisung. How was he not consciously aware of it?

"Chris..." Jisung frowned as Chris's grip steadily got tighter. It was starting to hurt. He raised one of his legs and nudged him with it. "Huh?" "It hurts..." "I'm sorry." "I'm waiting." Chris looked at him as he held his arms out. "No. You're just not right in the mind..."

Jisung tilted his head in confusion. "Going to jail won't help you at all." "I'm perfectly fine..." It then dawned on him. "Those photos. You have them don't you?" "I have a lot of photos." "The ones you uploaded on Twitter then deleted. Are you... stalking me?"

Jisung frowned as he had caught on. "No. I just happened to be there. I'm not familiar with the place. And as any fan would, they'd take photos. I deleted them because I felt guilty about exposing you." Jisung laughed on the inside as Chris had bought his obvious lie.

"Jisung, this is the second strike. Don't do anything like this again. I know you're a good guy, just don't give into temptations..." Jisung felt his heart melt at Chris's statement. He knew he chose the right man to fall for. "Okay." "Now go before someone sees you."

"Just a little longer..." "Jisung, I don't think we should see each other anymore. You become dangerous not just around me, but to people around us. Do you not remember what happened at the center?" Jisung frowned as he remembered fragments. "What if I do come back?"

Chris frowned at Jisung's question. "Then I'm sorry...I'll have to take legal action." "Fine." Chris sighed quietly as he hoped this would deter Jisung even the slightest. "Promise me." He held out his pinky in which Chris pushed aside. "What?" Jisung gasped as Chris had cut his finger.

"Why did you...?" He then cut Jisung's finger as well. Jisung quietly watched as Chris searched around and found what he was looking for. "Press your finger here then sign below." Jisung did as he asked then watched as he did the same. "I'll hold onto this for proof."


	11. 10

[찬]  
"You got lucky. Where were you for half an hour?" "Relaxing. Anyway, I won and now I have to focus on winning the next one." I sighed heavily as I thought back to Jisung. It made me happy that he was willing to try. At least I had a way to talk to him and check on him.

I then frowned as I remembered the photos. I didn't fully believe his story, and learning that he ran the account worried me. He could be stalking me. "Chris!" I looked up then waved to Wanjung. "Hey, what's up? I thought you weren't coming." "I got some free time."

I appreciated the talk he gave me as thoughts of Jisung disappeared. "Also, are you still in denial?" "About what?" "The person you described." "It's no one." "Alright, alright. I'll stop teasing." He ruffled my hair then said he had to go. Maybe I should've been honest.

[지]  
I sat in the audience as Chris's last matchup had started for the day. I posted photos on Twitter as he moved about below. I repeated his words in my mind then frowned. I couldn't stop thinking about it. What exactly did I do back at the center?

I only remembered arriving then being escorted out. Did I hurt someone? I sighed as I stared at Chris's moving body. Even if he told me to stay away, I knew deep down I wouldn't be able to. I smiled softly as he hit a successful overhead. Chris was perfect from head to toe.

[지]  
I found myself sticking up photos of Chris on my wall in the shape of a heart. My heart did a flip and caused me to hold myself. I still couldn't get over the fact I had kissed him. My face grew warm as I started filling in the heart with smaller photos of Chris.

"I want to see you again..." I repeated the line in a sing songy tone as I made sections on the other wall for different parts of his body. I started humming his favorite love song as I put up the last few close ups I had. I hopped onto my bed then double checked the route.

I planned to pay them a surprise visit, and I needed his friend out of the picture. It all would start with a simple phone call. It had been such a long time since I saw him in person. I couldn't stand it anymore. I sent the directions to my phone then smiled softly.

[찬]  
I yawned as I walked into the kitchen for a cup of water. It was pretty late and everything had started to feel peaceful again. Everything was only chaotic because of Jisung. How could one person bring so much chaos with them? I finished my water then headed upstairs.

I closed the door then lied back on the bed. I was slightly tired. I started to freak out as someone had jumped on top of me and silenced me with their hand. I was scared shitless. I was going to die. I looked to the side then felt them move my head back.

"Shh... make any sound, I'll hurt you." I nodded then watched as they moved their hand. I watched with blurred vision as they took something out of their pocket. They removed their hood then gave me a sweet and soft smile. "Hi Chris..." I wanted to scream terribly.

I kept moving his hands from underneath my shirt as I didn't know what his intentions really were. "You're skin is so soft..." I covered his mouth as he neared my body. Something was obviously wrong and I intended to find out. I decided to play along and catch him off guard.

I hate how my body reacted to his touch, but it gave me the perfect opportunity to turn the tables. "Jisung, you were doing so well..." "I wanted to see you..." I couldn't help the heat that rose to my cheeks. I shook my head and regained focus.

"You know what I'm going to do, right?" He nodded as he looked at me lovingly. I had to look away. "What did you do to Jeonhoon?" "Sleeping pills." I suddenly remembered then hesitated to ask. What if I brought up terrible memories? "What is it?" "Back in the park..."

He nodded quietly as he wiggled around in my hold. "Why were you crying?" "I cry randomly. You caught me at one of them." "Is that really it...?" Jisung had looked away from me then tried to lift his arms. "I need to tie you up..."

I tied him up with what was available and hoped he wouldn't break free. "What's your mom or dad's number? And don't you dare give me a fake one." I typed in the numbers in hopes of waking someone up. "Hello? Hi, Bang Chan here. You're Jisung's father? Please come get him from..."

I hung up then looked at Jisung. "That's it?" "It's late, but I'll make sure you get your restraining order ASAP." "Restraining order..." I sat on the bed as I watched Jisung. He soon fell asleep and I felt bad as his head bobbed. I put a pillow on the floor then lied him down.

They were right. My heart was too big. He broke into my friend's home, knocked him out with sleeping pills just to see and sexually assault me. It was people like me who died young. I quietly watched over Jisung as I waited for his father to come.

ㄸㄸㄸㄸ

I slowly opened my eyes and saw I was in bed. I looked around and saw that what happened last night did occur. Did I untie him or did he untie himself? The latter worried me as it meant he was just playing along. I quickly got ready so I could go file a restraining order.


	12. 11

[3rd]  
Geutan flipped through a magazine then stopped at a page. "Here it is." Jisung scooted closer as he swooned over Chris. He then closed the magazine then walked away. "Jisung? Where are you going?" "Restroom." Geutan sighed as Jisung seemed unhappy these days.

He perked up when he saw Jisung come back looking slightly better. He couldn't help but notice Jisung seemed to become upset whenever Chris came into the picture. Did he no longer want to be a fan? Did he have a bad experience at a recent event?

"Jisung, is everything okay?" "Yeah, why do you ask?" "You just seem down these days. I'm here to listen if you need someone." Jisung smiled softly as he took his seat next to Geutan. "Thanks, Geutan...Actually, I do want to tell you but..." Geutan patted his shoulder then smiled

"You can tell me anything. I won't think any different of you." Jisung felt slightly reassured then decided not to. "I'm just worried about not making other friends..." "Why? Do you have some deep dark secret that would drive everyone away?"

Jisung immediately stood up from his seat in horror. "What do you know?" "Ji, I was-" "It wasn't my fault!" "Wait, what wasn't?" Geutan frowned as Jisung bolted from the library. He figured he may have unearthed something he shouldn't have. He hurried after Jisung in worry.

ㄸㄸㄸㄸ

Jeonhoon wiped his face with his towel then looked down the courts. Chris was busy whacking away at the balls being served and returned to him. No matter how many times he watched him practice, he was still amazed. "Get your head on straight, Jeonhoon. We have work to do." "Right."

"Jeon!" Chris jogged over to Jeonhoon who looked ready to collapse from fatigue. "I wish I could be as bubbly as you." "What have you the idea that I'm bubbly?" "You look it. So, what's up?" "Just wanted to talk." Chris sat down next to him then stole a sip from his water bottle.

"I put my mouth on that..." "And? As if we haven't done this before." It was different this time around for Jeonhoon. "Hey, Chris." "Hm?" "What do you think of same sex couples?" "Not much really. They're no different from straight couples, besides being the same gender."

"You have wits about you. I like it." "Why do you ask? Do you know someone? Or are you-" Jeonhoon clamped his hand over Chris's mouth. "No, I'm not in a same sex relationship." He wouldn't have minded if it was with Chris. He moved his hand away then sighed.

"I see. Well, I wouldn't treat you any different than I do now, if you ever decided to date a guy." "Now I'm curious." "What?" "Would you consider dating a guy?" He watched as Chris swirled the water around while he looked at it seriously. "If we love each other, why not?"

Chris flashed him a smile and sent his heart and stomach into loops. "I see..." "Hey, Jeon..." "I'm all ears." "Would you date a stalker?" Jeonhoon blinked rapidly as Chris looked at the water in sorrow. "No, I wouldn't. They invade my privacy and follow me around. A big turn off."

Jeonhoon watched as Chris nodded as he stared at the water in the bottle. "Maybe I should take a break from tennis." "W-What? Do you know how everyone will take this?" Chris looked at Jeonhoon with sad eyes as he knew the world would be in an uproar for a while.

"I need some downtime...me time." "Consult with everyone first before you decide..." "I know." "Chris." He looked up and noticed one of the bodyguards walking over to him with a bag. "What is it?" "We already checked the contents, it's safe." He took the bag then looked in it.

"It's a shirt..." He noticed a piece of paper was at the bottom and took it out. "It's blank." Something told him there was more to this. He looked at the shirt then instantly knew what was up. "Where are you going?" "Pack up our things!" Jeonhoon frowned as Chris left him out.

[찬]  
I looked around for a pencil and was relieved a staff member had one. I rubbed the pencil over one side and saw words starting to appear. "'It's not over.' What is he thinking..." I couldn't imagine what he possibly had in store for the future.

I read the paper over then sighed. I should've included no written communication. The doorbell rang and Jeonhoon had gone to answer it. "It's for you Chris!" I poked my head out then saw him head in my direction. "Just has your name on it." "Thank you."

I closed the door then ripped open the side. It was a photo. I was afraid to look at it. I slowly pulled it out then blinked in confusion. "A print...?" It was a rather cute drawing at that. "Did he draw this?" I flipped it over then gave a look of surprise.

"An address?" I turned on my laptop then input the address onto an online map. "Oh..." I checked the envelope once more then noticed a smaller photo inside. I smiled softly as I leaned the picture against the monitor. "Maybe I should too..."


	13. 12

[지]  
I entered the house with a smile on my face. "I'm back." I walked to my father's room then knocked on the door. "Hello?" No answer. "Did he go out?" I opened the door then sighed in relief. He was just asleep. "Dad, wake up."

I gently pushed him then watched as he moved. "Dad?" I sat him up only for him to fall over. "Dad...You're playing around, right?" I gently poked him as tears streamed down my face. "Jisung, I-oh my..." I wept audibly then felt arms wrap around me. "It's okay..."

"No it's not. He can't leave me like this. He can't." I was a sobbing mess. "Jisung, calm down." I couldn't. How could anyone calm down when they find a family member's dead body? "Let's go upstairs and go lie down, hm?" "I don't want to leave his side..."

She carried me upstairs as I continued to cry. It hurt terribly. "I'll be back." I cried into my pillow as memories I had with him rushed in.

ㄸㄸㄸㄸ

I rubbed my eyes as I sat up in bed. The room was dark as night had fallen. It was early in the morning and only a few people would be up at such a time. I slid out of bed and headed downstairs to get water. My head was hurting.

My heart was in pain as I continued to drink water. I wiped my nose with a tissue then stared at the water in my cup. As water is clear, I was able to see the bottom of it. My father was dead. He passed on with no one by his side. It hurt to know that fact. I felt guilty.

Morning had risen and I heard faint voices coming from below. "What's-" I froze. The police were here. I shakily held onto the rail as my heart rate sped up. They were here for me weren't they? I started to feel dizzy then felt someone hold me up. "Why are you up? Go rest."

"Why are they here...?" She stroked my hair then escorted me back to my room. I was certain it was about me. I curled up into a ball as I envisioned time in prison. Would I be harassed there by other prisoners? Would I contract a life threatening disease?

I heard my door open and heard my aunt call my name. "I'll tell the school about your father, but we'll still go to your appointment later." "Understood..." "You really admire Chris don't you?" "Yeah, I guess." She walked over to my Chris heart.

"So, I'm assuming you're gay?" I shook my head as I lowered my head. My face burned slightly. "You even have close ups of his calves. You sure are something, Ji." "I'm not gay, bisexuality exists you know..." She clicked her tongue as she observed the Chris heart again.

"Is he nice?" "I wouldn't know. I've never gotten close him." "Well I'm sure you've watched him do nice things online, right?" "Yeah..." "I'll leave you alone. I'll call you to meet up with me at the building, okay?" "Understood." She kissed my forehead before leaving my room.

[3rd]  
"Are you sure?" "Yes, after this tournament." Wanjung looked at Chris with worry. What could be going on that he felt the need to break from tennis and seek a few therapy sessions? Did a parent pass away? "Did someone pass away...?" He shook his head.

"I think I'm just a bit lost and confused about things." Wanjung patted Chris's shoulder in understanding. "Well, I hope you figure things out." "Me too, me too..." "Is there anything you want to go over before your next match?" "Actually, yeah."

ㄸㄸㄸㄸ

Jisung sighed as Geutan had called for the 3rd time. He wasn't in the mood for social interaction. The call ended and he was once again faced with Chris's smiling face while holding a trophy. He bit his bottom lip as he remembered all the times he followed him around.

The times he took photos and invaded his privacy. The times they were alone together and Chris showed him nothing but kindness, minus the times he had to be subdued. Chris's heart was too big and he started to feel guilty. He touched his cheek then frowned. He was crying.

[지]  
I arrived in front of the building and saw my aunt waiting for me. "Good to see you on time." "I want to get better." She patted my head then smiled. "I'm glad you decided to talk to us about it." I returned her smile then sat down in a seat.

I laughed at dumb tweets as I waited for my appointment time. I briefly looked up from my phone then back down. I quickly looked back up with surprise. I didn't want to think it was true, that I was only seeing things. I quietly watched them as they talked to the receptionist.

They turned around then met my gaze. I wasn't sure what to do. He motioned for me to follow him. I pointed to myself and he slightly nodded. "What is he doing here..." "Did you say something?" I shook my head then told her that I was going to the restroom.


	14. 13

[찬]  
I stretched out as the car drove to the address. "Are you sure you don't want to try somewhere else?" "I have my reasons for choosing this place." "I see." I took the photo out of my wallet then sighed. I hoped doing this would help me understand things.

I also hoped to possibly learn about him. He invaded my thoughts more than I wanted him to. I've had a few stalkers here and there, but none of them were like Jisung. I didn't know what it was that made him different when he did the same things.

Yet I couldn't help but see the good in him more than the others. I put my head in my hands as the photo fluttered down onto the car floor.

ㄸㄸㄸㄸ

"So, you can start anywhere." "So, there's this person..." I told her everything, even what I was currently feeling. "I don't what to do. It's messing me up mentally and physically. I'm not playing as good as I used to..."

"Well, we can try a few things, but later on I'll need a definite answer from you about how you feel and what you want to do." I nodded then gave her a small smile. I believed I already had an idea of what I wanted to do.

[지]  
"Hey, Geutan." "Hm?" "Have you ever wanted to violate a rule just to apologize?" "I don't see why anything has to be violated to apologize." I fingered the paper in my pocket then looked at him. "I'm feeling better these days. I guess therapy was a good decision."

"I'm surprised you could afford it." "My aunt is paying." I rested my head on the table as Geutan typed away. "I still wonder why Chris is taking a break. He seemed perfectly healthy." I hid my face as I could guess why. I didn't know exactly what, but it was most definitely because of me.

"Maybe he just wants to take time and see if pursuing a tennis career was a good choice." "That's plausible." I shook my leg then pulled out a piece of licorice. "Eh, I never understand your weird tendencies..." "I used to bite my finger until it bled. So this is a replacement."

He nodded then gasped. "What?" "He just posted on Twitter." "Who?" "Chris! Who else? It's been too long since his last post." I scooted my seat over and peered at his screen. "Aw, who drew this? It's so cute." "'I want to meet the artist jogging.' What kind of tweet is this?"

"Do you think he's lost his mind?" I stared at my drawing then reread his caption. I could understand that he wanted to meet me, but the paper felt like a ton in my pocket. "I wonder who the lucky artist is?" "Yeah." I got up from my seat then walked away.

**(credit to @/halloweeninmay_)**

[3rd]  
Chris sat on a bench at the park he used to go through on his his morning jog. He had finished the few sessions he had and found them to be more helpful than he thought. He briefly looked at the bag by his side before looking straight ahead.

Jisung walked in from the other side wondering if this was what he meant. He still wanted to abide by the rules as he knew violating them would cost him. "He's actually here..." He turned around as his calm heart rate had picked up. His heart couldn't seem to forget.

He hid behind a tree as he watched Chris look around. "How can I get his attention..." Jisung poked his head out then locked eyes with him from afar. "No, no... don't come over..." He ducked behind the tree and brought his knees close to his chest.

"Jisung." Jisung constantly repeated to himself not to look up in fear of all the sessions going to waste. "Jisung, it's fine. Nothing will happen to you." He quickly snapped his head up at Chris's statement. "What do you mean...?" "Here." Jisung took the bag in confusion.

"I've been wanting to see you." "Me? Why? I've done nothing but harass you these past months...And I'm really sorry about it. I feel awful. Imagining myself as you, it didn't feel good. I have no right to even be near you anymore..." He felt Chris lift up his face.

"I guess it was right of me to believe there was good in you." Jisung felt his body temperature rise as the Chris had touched his face. "Aren't you breaking your rule? You said you wouldn't get involved with fans..." "Some rules can be broken, right?"

Jisung placed his hands atop of Chris's as his heart swelled. He wasn't sure whether to weep or wail. "Somehow you managed to infest my mind. You left an impact that others didn't." "How...?" "I don't know, but unlike them, I wanted to know you, even if you were stalking me..."

He shrunk back at the mention of stalking. He knew he wouldn't be able to live it down, not now nor ever. "Since we have the time, I want to know about you." Chris smiled as Jisung's eyes lit up with joy. Chris knew he was probably out of his mind, but he believed Jisung had changed.


	15. 14

"My parents are dead. They both recently died." "Oh..." "I hated my mother. I hope she rots in hell. My dad on the other hand..." Chris could see the sadness in his eyes. "You don't have to talk about it." "So, I live with my aunt and she's in the process of adopting me."

"What a hard life..." "Mhm." "So tell me about school. You said you've been in and out." Jisung frowned then moved away from Chris. "I'm sorry, this must be touchy as well." "I was bullied...and it got worse after an incident..." Chris moved closer to show his interest.

"They called me names and physically hurt me. I had transferred schools as my old one was shut down due to low funds. So I was the outcast. I still don't know why they picked on me. Then they started saying bad things happened around me, yet I had no recollection of anything."

"So when I asked about the center incident..." "Yeah...I honestly didn't remember anything but fragments. They blamed me for killing another student." Chris blinked rapidly as Jisung tried to disappear. Something he had wanted to bury had come back out in the open.

"It was endless. It was found to be nothing but an accident, yet they kept calling me a murderer and tormenting me. It was awful. My health had plummeted terribly...everything felt unstable...and I snapped. I was pulled from school before I could harm people around me."

[찬]  
I held him tight. I could hear soft sniffling from below. "I've never told anyone this, not even my new friends..." "Do you trust me that much?" He remained quiet as he held on tighter. I was then reminded of the first time I had witnessed him cry. It felt like deja vu.

I handed him a few tissues as we sat in silence. "Are you going to play tennis professionally again...?" "Yeah, sometime in the future." "So, you're extending your break?" I shook my head as I looked up at the leaves. "I meant after my break."

"Would it be okay to stay in contact with you...?" "Considering I had the restraint dismissed, yes." He then hugged me from the side. I leaned my head against his then received a confused noise from him. "What?" "You've been letting me touch you." "I'm fine with it. Completely fine."

He pulled away then searched my face. "Did our roles get reversed...?" I held him by his shoulders then leaned closer. "Depends. Are you still batshit crazy for me?" "Maybe..." "Are you?" His gaze never left mine as I waited for his answer. "It wouldn't matter if I was honest..."

[지]  
I stared at him wide eyed as he smiled softly. "Something wrong?" I shook my head as I looked around. My heart wouldn't stop. I was positive it'd jump out of my body at any point in time. My suppressed emotions started to arise. I shook my head as I didn't want to repeat the past.

"I think it's best if you go." He stroked my hair and dispersed the feeling. "Alright then. Shall we make this our temporary meeting place?" I nodded then watched as he turned on his heel. "Wait." "What's up?" "Are you serious about this?" He smiled then walked back over.

"Like I told my friend, 'If we love each other, why not?'. It can also be applied to friendship." I watched him go then remembered the bag he gave me. It was the shirt I had sent him, two photos and a banner. I turned the first photo over then covered my mouth.

I looked at the second and lost my cool. I sighed heavily as I put everything back in the bag. I felt something wet on my face then groaned. I had gotten a nosebleed. There was definitely more to Chris than what he showed to the public, and I intended to learn every detail, but this time without invading his privacy.


End file.
